The thought of  yours

How long it has been when we did not conversate

Shall we Just sit and feel the peace of the moment

Its been everyday since you come across my mind

Shall I just open my heart and tell you how it lingers within to see a glance of yours

its been everyday since i feel the protectiveness around you

Shall I just rest my forehead on your heart  and tell you how safe your arms are around me

Its been everyday since i miss your frisky fun teasing

Shall i just lock my eyes at your eyes and let you read my smile how happy it feels

Its been everyday since I miss your husky tinkling laugh

Shall I just hold your cheeks on my palm and let you see the magic it spills at my cheeks

Its been everyday since I miss your deep random sentences about me 

Shall I just Place my hand at your heart and let you know how softly and deeply it lands in my heart

 

One day Just that One day

One day when I shall meet you

and things will be different

Something that I never experienced

Something that enthralls my heart

Something which is being blessed

Something that I felt I would never receive

Something which is not known

Something which full of Something else

Something else that prohibited me from experiencing

Something else that is wished to make me happy and scared but something which seems to be eternal

Something that sinks me in the thoughts of something lovely

Something lovely that makes me feel lovelier

Something which is gentle but so impactful

So impactful that it gets engrossed in my mind and heart so beautifully

Something that i would reminisce every day when i will grow older

Something that will put a wide curve on my face

Something that i never want to fade away

Something which can't be described in words

Something that seeps within my own flesh

Something which is exclusively for us

Something that is something else

Something which is all new

Something which is afresh

Something which is inexplicable 

31July 2020

Evr since the year has started i never imagined .......it would pass so early.....feels like yesterday was 1st jan but today  july has almost most ended........august is about to start and  just 4-5 months entire year shall pass...just because of a microorganism...........a microorganism that locked evry person limited to their houses...And the locked down  period has has changed my life 360 degrees....I have to leave my old lovely home and city.........I m here in new home...........So big.....So luxurious... But why my heart does not stay here......i feel invisible me.......seems like things have become numb.......
i feel like all my past is just erased...........Just like a blank canvas...........with white background...........i look around the forest trees.......I look around the birds singing in the chorus...........But why i still find this as shrill sound.......not melodious.........or may be its not reaching clearly in my ears...........or my be not connecting to my heart............

I deep nothingness has somewhere crept in...........I see people...so many people..............But almost no one to talk to..........I see evry day as pointless......Almost blank............with no excitement to cherish anything...........seems like dreams are drowning.........Or may be dreams are fading from the eyes............Or are they just dying a slowly.................

Anxiety has crept in.......No Goals are achieved despite reaching at a age where people start earning i m just bank corrupt....No single penny..........Almost an escape from social interactions......escape from the questions what are you doing right now...........a long period of time and still alive like a failure.....sometimes i feel tired........i feel fatigue.....no hunger for food........just like  nothing ness...........i has not happened to me till now.............

But the most dangerous thing is.........I m confused.......helpless.....demotivated......no self esteem...........and has become comfortable with failures so much that even success do not excite me........I feel like want to talk to someone.....but to whom?.....i feel a deep sense of insecurity towards my future.....i see no way.....neither i see you....i can;t see you too.........you are my courage,,,,,,My best friend..........my love......my partner.....i want to relive my dreams..............i want to accomplish my dreams....

dream of going back to chandigarh
dream back to join gym and get fit just like gauri
dream of buying my own thar and roaming in sec 17
dream of getting a perfect mangerial level job in sec 17.
dream of loving someone so whole heartedly so fearlessly
dream of being held by a strong man's arms
dream of walking around sec 17 with you in rainly day
dream of sipping a coffee in a fine chilly winters of december in sec 17
dream of walking on the yellow leaves of spring in the mornings when summers are on the way
dream of getting my ownself back........
dream of getting back that funny amicable confident me back
dream of taking my parents to a foreign trip,,,,,,,
dream of getting wardrobe of pastels and pink shades...
dream of getting married with you......
dream of staying with you forever in your arms.
dream of sharing our laughs together.......
dream of falling in love some day......
dream of feeling you in someday........
dream of being touched by you someday...
dream of putting you in arms and just have a closure someday......
dream of seeing us in a frame someday............
dream of a thing called marriage someday.........
dream of being with you someday............

When the time shall pass?
when this monotony shall pass?
when the life will hit back.....
when the love will stike us both...
when  the you in my thoughts will eventually take a shape..........
when will the universe bring us together........
when will the tough time shall pass.........
when will the things get normalized..............

but yeah....no matter what......i deeply love you........i hope we shall meet soon..............as i immensly love you...and waiting for you

Bidding Farewell To our home,

Heyya.. Our dear lovely home.. 3098 A Chandigarh

We have spent  7 years of good life here.I completed my graduation post graduation internships here.I started my first job here.

I have seen Success As well as failures here.

It's been an extremely emotional journey associated with you.The walls of the home was not as fragile as we were.But we stood together despite rains scorching heat or chilling winters.

A home that first time in my life made me to see beauty of the city so closely.The peacocks in the morning ,or some times randomly on imtech road.The nature's beauty shaped in that curve of that road that used to get immersed under the shaded leaves in autumn or mist that tried to hug it and mercuric lamps scattered the all glitter.

That densely shaded Main road where i used to walk on foot from my college to home.

That ease of approaching anywhere without any effort.

That peace that serenity that i have seen no where.

Dear home..Your walls were strong enough give us protection under several moments of excruciating pain.

it was great time being here.I loved the warmth and moments i enjoyed here.

i will really miss this place badly.You know change is never easy.I m moving to differentplace but the memories of living here will engrave in my mind till my life.

 I would badly miss my exercising sessions and morning walk at the park,

I would badly miss my daily temple visits.

I would badly miss roaming around the road on activa with my sister or be it buying vegetables with her or be it buying some mouth watering daily samosa cravings at amar sweets here.

I would miss My Panjab university Gedi.

I would miss Grace BP.I would miss Krishna market.

In short I would miss you badly.

I loved staying here.I thank you for giving us these moments.

Dear God give me enough Power to embrace this new change.
I hope every thing goes well

I LOVE YOU.....

I hope some where in this life we could meet soon.

till then I LOVE YOU

The dawn is about to happen,

but still its so dark....

The rain has stopped.

But it is still preparing to fall again...

The storm has stopped,

The concotion of leaves and strong wind is shrilling loud.....

Entire world is slept....

But no sleep no peace around...

My eyes wide open,

And mind locked down in the memory lane....

one scene flashes ..then second ..then third...and then repeats 

Some good some bad..some right...some wrong ...some like eternal and constant...

What was right what was wrong

what is right what is wrong

what will be right what will be wrong

I m just lost in the labyrinth

its like the storm whirling inside.......

many questions unanswered...many answers clearly known,

I m still juggling to find a way to move out....

Is this ending any time soon?

How long will it take me  to come out....

Or i m just at the exit point waiting someone to pull me out?

Or just sometimes we need a push to move out?

My mind says you are strong enough to take a leap of faith

But sometimes i m scared enough to move an inch..

Sometimes we need a strong hand to our trembling palm fingers...

Someone who pulls us out with a jolt and hugs in the strong arms..

Someone who holds us till we are courageous enough to open our eyes

Someone to whom we could hug back stronger for helping us move out

Someone who just doesnot say anything but holds us more tighter..........

Someone who holds us like a soft cocoon in the shell........

Someone  Whose touch is protective

Someone whose hold is comforting..

Someone who is faith

someone who is peace..

Someone who is just "you"....

             

Me To You


why we are being so distant...
that i can't find you..........
why we are so different.......
that i can't merge in you..........
why we are so impossible
that i can't have you..........
why the time is so long
that i can't see you.......
why we are so much away.........
that i can't hear you...
why the our hearts despite being so synchronised
i can't listen your heart beat.........
You are being loved here
you are being missed here
you are being desired here
you are being wished here
i dont know when the wait will be over
i dont know when i'll have a glance of yours
Just be here soon..
just be here at this every moment  soon
Just be here and freeze the time soon....
               
                     -In Love With You

Me to Us...

Food does Not feed soul
Self esteem does
Time does not heal...
Acceptance does...
People does not makes you alive
Their love does..
Dreaming does not accomplish desires
Hard work does
Money does not buy happiness
A heart warming support does..
long Talks do not bind two hearts...
A conversation after a lapse of time does...